Sunday, November 13, 2011

A Christmas List...with commentary

I LOVE my Pill. Seriously, if you need an illustration of how awesome she is, just check out this Christmas list she gave me yesterday. Comments in italics are mine. :)

1. Leg warmers
2. Arm warmers
apparently she gets cold
3. playdough dentist umm, no
4. mind flex she's seen the Try-It-Before-You-Buy-It that shows this is worthless but I guess she thinks her mind is more powerful than most people's
5. stompies I don't even know what that is
6. socks
7. new room in a new house? an addition?
8. cloths or maybe clothes?
9. ripped leggings
10. white sparkally heels those must be even fancier than sparkly heels!
11. red sparkally heels
12. flats
13. leggings good to know I don't only have to look for ripped ones!
14. Gaga stuff
15. laptop
16. new phone
17. shoes/heels in case I didn't know what sparkally heels and flats are, I guess
18. shirts
19. Wii games
20. xbox kennict hmm, I'm not sure I'll be able to find a kennict!
21. ripped shirts
22. kitten
23. bunny
24. bags
25. money
26. bows
27. playdough icecream what is with the playdough? She knows I hate playdough.
28. shorts
29. make up even though I took away all her make up about a month ago!
30. nail polish
31. jackets
32. posters hmm, any old poster? She hates Justin Bieber, I should get her a poster of him! 
33. jeans which she will never wear because she only wants to wear ripped leggings and tutus. I can't believe there are no tutus on her list!
34. crowns
35. puppy because the kitten and bunny aren't enough AND we don't already have 5 dogs!!
36. this one is my favorite: go to wesco that's right, wesco the gas station. Doesn't every kid want a trip to the gas station? No? Only The Pill? Well, she did used to ask for a bag of cotton balls every year. At least she makes it easy for me!
37. movies trip
38. any other things
Yep, that's right she ends with "any other things." What a goofy kid!

The Pill in the orange skirt. She is one of a kind...although she is rubbing off on her friend!

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Anyone could lose weight on 500 calories a day!

I have a good friend who just finished following the HCG diet. That's the one where you put some homeopathic drops under your tongue...I'm not sure it's really HCG. But she looks great and she swears the diet works. So, seeing that I was still skeptical, she let me borrow her book: The Weight Loss Cure "They" Don't Want You to Know About by Kevin Trudeau.

Let me just begin by saying, Kevin is not a good author. The only reason this book ever made the NYT Bestseller list is because so many people are so desperate to lose weight. And if you can lose weight on this diet, you can lose weight on ANY diet. It is unrealistic and full of lies. That alone made me so angry that I would not do any part of this diet that might cause money to enter Kevin Trudeau's bank account. He has such a thing for conspiracy theories, but if anybody is telling lies to make money, it is he.

From here on out, I am just going to share quotes from the book.
Page 7 "When you finish the protocol your metabolism is reset to the normal level...You will be able to eat any food you want."
Page 9 "Most importantly, when I finished losing all the fat, inches, and weight I wanted, I needed to be able to eat anything I wanted, any time I wanted, as much as I wanted, and never gain the weight back."
Page 19 "This does not mean you will be restricted to certain kinds of food. On the contrary, when you finish 'the weight loss cure protocol' you will be able to eat any food you want in any amount you want any time you want."
Page 29 The even better news is when you are finished with the protocol you will be able to eat any kind of food you want. You will be able to eat cheeseburgers, French fries, ice cream, cookies, cakes, breads, pasta, cheese, butter, cream, steak, pizza, Mexican food, mashed potatoes and gravy, virtually any kind of food you want."
Page 47 "To further prove that the treatment, in fact, cured the disorder, all patients must have the ability to eat normally any food he pleases in any amounts without regaining abnormal fat or weight after the treatment."

Compare those quotes with these:
Page 76 "Phase 4: This phase is for the rest of your life. It contains the simple easy to follow dos and don'ts that make sure..."
Page 105 "Phase 4 is for the rest of your life. This phase will consist of some basic and easy to follow dos and don'ts that will become your new, exciting habits."
Page 106 "The simplest rule to follow is to eat anything you want, as much as you want, as often as you want. The only caveat is only eat 100% organic food."

The "simple easy to follow dos and don'ts", the "new exciting habits" consist of a list that numbers 50 items! I'll just give you a taste (which is really about all you can eat on phase 4: the rest of your life!)
Page 106 "1. Eat only 100% organic food."
Page 107 "2. No "brand name" food. The rule here is not to eat food produced by publicly traded corporations. Remember, large publicly traded food companies are the enemy."
Page 107 "3. No fast food, regional or national chain restaurants."
Remember, this is THE REST OF YOUR LIFE!
Page 107 "4. Do a Candida cleanse."  Umm easy? I don't even know what that is!

It goes on to list a colon cleanse, a liver cleanse, a parasite cleanse, a heavy metal cleanse...and on and on and on. The list is so ridiculous. But it's the dichotomy of his first chapters that claim you can eat whatever, whenever, as much as you want and then the chapter where he finally lays out the phases of the diet and it is clear that you will NEVER be able to eat whatever you want, as much as you want, blah, blah, blah. I hate when I get lied to. I hate people who don't think I am smart enough to figure out their game. Kevin Trudeau's game is to make money by writing about a diet that is so impossible very few people could ever follow it, and therefore, they can't blame him when it doesn't work.

Please, please, please be careful if you do this diet. I have serious concerns about the healthiness of some of the procedures he recommends. And at the height of the diet, you are only supposed to eat 500 calories a day. Anybody could use weight on 500 calories a day but it sure doesn't seem healthy to me.

Sunday, November 6, 2011


A couple of months ago, The Pill said to me, "Mom, you're so lucky you have me." She is always coming up with off the wall things that leave me wondering.

So I replied, "Yes, I know that. Why do you say so?" And she proceeds to tell me that if I hadn't been pregnant for her when I turned 30, my mom would not have had the awesome 30th Surprise Birthday Party that she threw for me.

Then she said, "You told grandma you would have a party for her when she turned 50 and you didn't." Well, I honestly don't remember saying that, but I asked The Pill how old grandma would be this year (yea, I know, pretty sad I have to ask, but she has a younger mind!) and she said sixty.

So I said, "Then I guess we better have a party for her this year!" My dad was on the same wave length and when I told him I was planning one, he told me he had been planning to ask me to do just that.

Well, today was the day. And I'd be lying if I said it was easy-peasy-lemon-squeezy! See, my mom is the quintessential party thrower. My mom is the best cook, she can bake like nobody's business, she decorates better than Martha Stewart, and she comes up with the best party favors and gifts. I've thrown parties before but ALWAYS with mom's help.  But I did have help this time too. My dad was great helping me pay for stuff. My sister brought all the paper products, the pop, and a big crock pot of macaroni and cheese. My aunt pitched in with a veggie tray and some broccoli salad--very last minute after I realized I had no veggies planned and I sent her a facebook message asking for her help! And my brother, who'd been planning to make sausage and sauerkraut, brought chips. :-D Which was great because the sausage and sauerkraut would have been TOO much food!

So, mom wasn't exactly surprised. As it turned out, my grandpa passed away a couple of weeks ago. When mom and dad were at his house to clean things out, my mom found grandpa's invitation to her party. Not knowing what it was, she looked inside, saw the words "surprise" and her name, and quickly closed the card back up. So, she didn't know exactly when, but she knew it was coming.  I think it was a good party. It wasn't everything she deserves in a party, but that would be impossible for me to do!

I'll let the pictures tell the rest of the story.

I used a Fall theme for decorating. Candles, confetti, harvest mix candy. My sister got the paper products in fall colors.
The cake was made at Leppinks, the local grocery store. Mom's name is stitched on because she's such a great seamstress. :)
Happy Birthday Mom!
Mom's aunt and my sister.
More of mom's aunts and a cousin. And my nephew...isn't he a sweet thing?
Mom and dad's neighbors: they helped get mom to the party. And my Aunt and Uncle.
Mom's good friends.
Dad, Mom, and G. Mom had to enlist G's help to blow out all 60 candles. :)